Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A New Year, A New Direction?


This time last year I was just starting my second second semester back at school.  I was taking three classes and feeling like I had purpose, a goal.  Summer came and went and at the end of August Dave started his Doctorate program.  I felt like it would be too much to try to go to school at the same time and, so, I decided to take the semester off.  Now, here we are in January and I, once again, feel like my purpose is but a vapor that I am trying desperately to grasp.
Purpose: Something set up as an object or end to be attained.
I seem to find myself always searching for something outside my reach.  The titles of Mother, Wife, Daughter, Friend, Sister don't seem to foot the bill.  I feel a yearning to be better, do better, to feel a sense of purpose. That is why, while sitting in a Bible study last week, the speaker said something that I cannot forget.
"Be obsessed with the Gospel and you will find your life's calling."
Obsessed?  Oh, I know how to do that....I can be obsessed with anything for a fleeting moment; what shade of paint will best compliment my curtains, the bedding that I had to have and no longer want, BLOGGING, reading blogger comments, my favorite TV show, exercise, healthy food, etc, etc, etc....And, when I am really honest, the things I choose to be unhappy with.  My husband, my daughter, friends, all those expectations and blaming someone or something other than myself.
While I would like to say the thought of being obsessed with Christ comes easy to me, I cannot.  In fact, my past habits show that I want there to be something tangible, something real I can do.  I want there to be any other answer to this feeling of vacancy other than not spending time in the Word.  Because if that is the answer....

I have a lot of work to do.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:3-4

10 comments:

JoAnn said...

YAY! A new post! And a good one at that. Sounds like you are on an interesting track...tomorrow is Walk with Him wednesdays on my blog. Join up with us and blog about your journey with Him. Blogging about Jesus turns out to be a great way to be obsessed, I mean, you know how often one spends thinking about their next posting :)

Kara said...

Well written...and so true!!!

Mr. LC said...

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams- let love take the reigns, and allow your heart to be your guide, my friend!

Layla :-)

missames77 said...

So true, Miss Tamera. That was a powerful message. When I think about it, I'm not one to really obsess. So I have a long ways to go to be obsessed with the gospel. But the more we spend time talking and reading about these things the more it occupies our minds and that's sort of obsessing.... Thanks for your frank honesty. It's inspiring.

missames77 said...

So I have been obsessing about my 'I'm not really one to obsess" comment nonsense. Go figure. I really do obsess. Here are some examples I obsess about:
exercising EVERY day (or not, as the case may be), what I'm going to eat next, if it is healthy, what are my kids going to eat next, is it well rounded... and the list goes on... Just thought I'd let you in on my epiphany.:)

Tamera said...

Amy-I am so relieved! Not really one to obsess...I thought we weren't going to be able to be friends;)
I'm glad you have admitted to it. You know that is the first step to recovery...unless, of course, your obsession is, in fact, Jesus...

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decdiva1 said...

great post, i didn't know you were back at it! hopefully we'll hear/see more from you! and i agree, i can obsess about just about everything but the gospel. just like a home improvement/decorating project, these things take time; but time in the gospel is well spent! love you sister!

性份 said...
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